pain...do you want to know what pain is? look into my eyes. what will you see? heartbreak loneliness hurt betrayal abandonment sadness anger you think these eyes are honest? these eyes are trying to speak what i cannot utter with words. these eyes are trying to tell you that they know, they have seen and that the heart hurts. these eyes have seen the words that you have said to her. these eyes cried the tears of betrayal. i look in the mirror and think i don't deserve this and why do i put up with it. the answer .. these eyes are tired of searching so pain...thats looking in your eyes while you deny what i already know. pain...breaking down word by word pain...hearing you say you love me when you speak to her about making love yes i know and it hurts but these eyes will continue to hold the pain that i dare not mention.

long overdue

f I could put words to my emotions my world wouldn't feel upside down. If I could put words to my fears my world wouldn't feel upside down. If I could bring joy to my words my world would be right side up. If I could voice my in securities and make then right I wouldn't feel so crumbled. If I could explain how much I have felt I have lost would you understand? Would you understand where I'm coming from? Would you understand my emotions? Would you understand my needs? Would you fill the void in my life? How do I express to you that the words that you speak to other women are the words that break me down. The time that you spend with them is the time that is taken from my heart beat. My in securities will break me but they will build me. If I could explain to you what I need would you give it to me? My emotions may hold me down but they will also bring me back up. My fears will act as my diving board that I will leap off into success and confidence. I will be the woman that I have desired to be. I will be the mother that I have always wanted and I will be the lover that you will never want to leave. If I could let you know how this my lowest point will make me stronger will they still be needed? Jealousy ... Yes ... I am a whole woman broken by the struggle or creation but a woman who will rise above from the strength of creation.

mixed

The sweet tempation that comes with satisfaction that is what you are to me.the things you say thebthings you.do makes my heart race out of.control. I hang on to ur every word trying to make sense of life from yhem. I wonder when will i wake up and not have you or better yet.when will i have you. All the red flags go off in my head.and.i.ignore.them and think about resting in your arms.i want to take care of you. I eant to be a part of ur lifr, of ur world. I wany to be there for you.i want you

faded

i close my eyes. im faded. i can smell you and i hate it. i tune the world out only to hear your voice in my head. i scream to shut you out then i feel your touch. i take my clothes off only to be reminded of your body against mine. im still too low. i roll up i smoke up and i get high. i sit and i wonder...why? why me? why her? when did this all become such a blur. when did it become a war....me vs her. who am i to you? these thoughts flood my head...im still not there...hot a couple bowls...now i just get cold. you made me hurt, you made me angry, you made me cry. fuck you your only a silly little boy. you did me wrong but now ive moved on to a place where what i feel is real. i feel for myself. i sit in the cloud of smoke, eyes chinked and my head alert. you want to break me down. could try im so high you wont even see my in your view. i look down at you with pity and sadness because you made the best bitch just pass you by.

words to me is like air.without words i wouldnt survive. its my way of life, my thinking my being, my backbone. you take away my words and you take away my very existence. my world revolves around the sentences and statements i can make with the words that are resting in my mind. when my heart hurts, my words express what i feel. when i love my words say it.